5 Tips for Working with Children who have ADD or ADHD

As a psychotherapist and social worker, the most common diagnosis I work with among children is Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Children who have ADD or ADHD often end up in my care after they exhibit low motivation, lack of concentration or focus, poor ability to manage time, and an inability to sit still. These children are often misunderstood and classified as defiant, as they lack many executive functioning skills that peers gain earlier. These tips are aimed to help give any children in your life that has AD(H)D the tools they need to be successful.

Tip One: Write it down.

Children and adults who have AD(H)D can struggle greatly with verbal communication. Imagine that they are already having five conversations in their head, and you are the uninvited sixth guest. If more than two directives are being given at one time, I highly recommend writing them down. Writing down tasks can be modified depending on the age of the child.

For small children, pictures can be used to signify the tasks that need to be completed. For example, a sheet with a picture of a toothbrush, clothing, shoes, and a backpack can signify the steps needed to get ready for school. For children who can read, tasks should be displayed in an area where they can see them. Sticky notes on the wall work well. Beware that these lists can get lost quickly! For teenagers or adults, text messages and emails work well as virtual reminders.

I often hear stories from parents that feel their child is defiant for not completing the tasks asked of them. Often, when this topic is explored further with the child and family, it’s a problem that the child forgets. Writing down tasks, directives and conversations creates clear and effective communication—for everyone!

Tip Two: Schedule and remind.

Individuals with AD(H)D experience time differently than most. I hear from teenagers all the time that they just don’t know where the last three hours went. To them, it can feel like ten minutes.

Creating a visible and reliable schedule with your child can keep them on task, and learn how to manage their time effectively. Schedules can be the vehicle that creates healthy coping skills and habits such as getting homework done on time, getting chores completed, and spending time exercising.

Children with this diagnosis are often called lazy or unmotivated when they lose track of time. The best way to teach children to make effective use of their time is to help them manage it. I encourage that as the child grows they have greater influence into their own schedule, such as setting their own bedtime and tasks to be completed before recreational time. Unlike neurotypical children, the skill of time management does not come naturally.

Tip Three: Praise good behavior.

As the past two tips have highlighted, children with AD(H)D often find themselves in trouble. It can be easy for the adults around them to fall into a pattern where they are constantly scolding these children—for losing track of time, for not getting their work done, and for not being successful in the things we wish they would be. Which is why it is so important that we praise these children when they do good.

Praise can be given for the simplest of things, and positivity seems to grow from there. Praise your child for completing the task you asked them to do. Praise them for a good deed they did to help someone out. Praise them for how smart they are. Parents often come to me in desperation that there is nothing to praise. That is simply never true. There is always something in one day that can be complimented.

When I work with parents and educators on the idea of positive reinforcement, they always report at the end how effective and natural it is.

I recommend that individuals start by identifying one thing a day to praise their child about. Of course, the more the better, and big accomplishments deserve more praise. You may easily find yourself starting to look at the brighter side of things and realize the incredible talents children with AD(H)D often have.

Tip Four: Watch out for screens.

With such a great propensity to lose track of time, this demographic of children should use screen time wisely. An hour of television, video gaming, or texting can easily turn into eight hours, and they forgot all about the sticky note you wrote down and their schedule.

You will never hear me judge another parent about screen time because I get it, we live in the modern era, and parent’s mental health matters too.

However, I would be remiss as to not mention this point to those aiming to better serve children with AD(H)D. I encourage that screens be used for recreational use no more than two hours per day. I recommend that people of all ages stop screen use one hour before bed to promote better sleep. I encourage all people not to sleep with their electronics, but especially children with this diagnosis. Children can easily stay up until the early hours of the morning on an array of social media outlets.

Tip Five: Educate yourself and those around you.

As I have mentioned throughout this blog post, many people who have AD(H)D are misunderstood. As parents and advocates, the best thing we can do is try and educate those around us about how to help those we love. If your child is in frequent contact with another adult - share info with that adult about what things are helping your child stay focused, motivated, and on task. Teachers, coaches, mentors, and caregivers will appreciate the insight, and everyone can be on the same team.

When adults all get on the same team as the child, everyone wins. Everyone gets to relish in the success of that child.

The more people that get to praise your child for positive outcomes, means the more times your child gets to hear that they are successful. And success feeds positivity - see tip three.

While my hope is that this blog post has been informational and motivational, I suggest that the research not stop here. I encourage any parent or caregiver of a child with AD(H)D to continue to read and learn about their child’s condition. Every child is unique and requires unique care to be the best they can possibly be. The tips mentioned in this blog post stem from tried and true experiences of one mother, social worker, and mental health advocate. There is so much more out there to explore.

Knowledge is power! Knowledge is success! Knowledge is happy and healthy parents and kids!

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.