Reducing Anxiety Around Childbirth
Childbirth is perhaps the most anxiety provoking consideration an expectant mother has, and it is unfortunately often perpetuated by those around.
Que the horific birth stories you have heard.
Fortunately, there are many things expectant parents can do to reduce this anxiety and expeirence a less stressful pregnancy and delivery. This blog will give you actionable steps to take to reduce anxiety related to childbirth.
Get Prepared
You’ll want to learn as much as you possible can about birth before you do it. The more knowledge you have, the better.
Given that birth is not often disccused in western culture, many mothers don’t know what to expect, or how the whole process works. Maybe they’ve heard a story or two from a family and colleagues about the topic - but it is uncommon that we know the physiology of birth.
Here are some helpful ways you can prepare:
Take a birthing class. There’s a million different kinds - do a bit of research and try to pick the one that speaks to you.
Go deeper on topics that scare you. If you have a particular fear around birth - learn more about it. Know exactly what causes it and what the interventions are.
Write out a birth plan, and be on the same page as your support during labor. Active labor should not be the first time your expressing your desires.
Consider listening to birth stories of other women, in detail, about what their experiences were. I highly reccomend The Birth Hour Podcast and potentially listening to female relative tell their birth story in full.
Imagine your birth. Literally schedule time to just think about what is going to happen in an effort to mentally repare yourself.
Getting prepared for birth can look different for every family. Ask yourself: what do I need to uniquely prepare for this upcoming event.
Obtain Encouragement
Birth is hard work. That’s why it gets so much clout. In order to complete this miraculous feat, it’s best to have as much support and encouragement as possible. This can be gained in a variety of ways.
Encouragement can be in the form of people.
This is the time to put the most supportive people in your life at the forefront. You want people who are going to cheer you on and root for you to have the birth you are hoping for. This can come in a variety of ways, and here are some ideas for getting started:
Create a list of people that you want to be the most intimately involed in your pregnacy and think of who else you may be able to add.
Think deeply about the support you want. Think of how you want to receive support and then think of how you would like to be communicated with. Then try and share this with your support people.
Seriously consider hiring help. A doula can help educate you about your options and help you support you through birth, especially if you feel you don’t have enough support. {I highly reccomend Lindsey and Justine if you’re in Colorado.}
Encouragement can be in the form of information.
Beyond getting prepared, it can be helpful to
Take time to find what information is most encouraging. Perhaps this is in the form of learning more about how to have an unmedicated birth, or perhaps this is in the form of learning all of the pain releif measures available to you.
Whatever birthing class or birthing method you choose should feel encouraging. If it’s not - ditch it.
Reading about positive birth stories can help cultivate encouragement. One of the most encouraging peices of information I chose to have hanging up at my birth was “there are 385,000 other people in labor with me right now.
Women often tell me they find comfort in knowing that every other mother EVER has given birth. Therefore, I find that information derived from other mothers can be the most powerful.
Encouragement can be in the form of feeling prepared in the birthing space.
While having the support of a partner, friends, medical professionals, doulas, mental health care providers, pelvic floor therapists and whoever else you can think of is helpful - YOU can also be your best encouragement.
Preparing for your birthing space with messages from your own self can be very powerful. This can look like the following:
You take time to write yourself encouraging messages to hang up in labor. For one of my births, I found the phrases “You can do hard things” and “Women hold this world up” to be the most encouraging messages.
Identify comforting items that you know provide YOU encouragement. Maybe an old sporting item that was lucky, maybe something that reminds you of a late parent or grandparent. Items that you find strength in.
Identify music that encourages you. Practice listening to this music while doing hard things or visulaizing your birth.
Women so often discredit their own intuition, their own divine understanding that they have to prepare for labor, but I cannot express deeply enough that YOU know what’s best for both yourself, and your baby. It’s a special super power mamas get. Trust me.
Prepare for After Birth
While birth is the main event, and one you need to feel prepared for - most moms will tell you that the months after baby are the ones that can feel the most challenging.
It can also reduce anxiety to put more thought into post-pregnancy as a means to get through birth. How many birth stories have you heard where the mother just kept thinking: I’m getting close to my baby, it will all be worth it soon! We have a biological imperiatve to get through birth. Focusing on the post-birth can help us feel prepared for the main event.
My greatest advice to every single mother reading this to plan for how YOU will be taken care of after birth. The baby will be taken care of by you. Whether you believe it or not, you will do an amazing job, and that special super power I told you about will kick in. You will know what to do. And if things get out hand, or you need professional support, you will call up a mental health therapist like me, and we’ll help you get on track.
Unfortunetly, there may not be anyone looking out for you. So you need to plan that!
Ways that I encourage mothers to plan for after birth is the following:
Have food. Have easy food in the fridge, freezer and ready to be delivered. You will not have energy to cook. Your partner, if you have one, should be busy looking after you and not be in the kitchen for more than a few minutes.
Have a plan about who will take care of you, emotionally and physically. Whether you are at the parenting jounrey alone or coupled, you need to have support ready, and you need to plan on using it. First baby or tenth, we moms need this assistance.
Have back up everything. Know who you will call if you need more food, more assistance, or you need to cry. It can be helpful to prepare a list before birth to have ready. This could include the numbers to a lactation consultant, a therapist, your favorite delivery spot and way more things I won’t go into detail on.
Of course, activities like prepping a nursery, picking out baby names and buying some clothing can also help you prepare, it’s just simply not the advice I think is most helpful. Mothers need to prepare for the support and journey they will make into fourth trimester.
Consider seeing a therapist.
While seeing a mental health therapist in preperation for labor may not come to the top of mind, it can be incredible helpful.
Mental health therapists, particularly those that specialize in perinatal and postnatal services, can help you unwind the deep anxieties you may have about giving birth. We can give you far more coping skills than a blog post can.
Sometimes anxieties can arise because of previous birth trauma that was never resolved. Many women don’t identify as having birth trauma, but it is much more common than we think.
Consider this an official invitation to reach out to me if you need help. I am always happy to chat!
Remember that anxiety around birth is normal, but too much of it is not.
Give yourself permission to lean into the discomfort, and follow your intuition wherever it leads.
The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.
