Spring 2023

Tool #1: Feel all the things.

In Gabor Maté’s The Myth of Normal, he cites a research study where breast cancer patients were examined for their suppression of emotion. Within a confidence internal of 94%, the reaserchers were able to tell if a patient would be diagnosed with cancer based on their high responses regarding the repression of emotions and markers of not fully expressing themselves.

Feelings demand to be felt.

If we swat away the emotions we feel, they will surface and manifest in other ways. As Maté argues, along with Bessel van der Kolk of The Body Keeps the Score, our bodies cannot be fooled. If we carrying with us unresolved trauma, anger, grief or sadness - our bodies give us feedback.

My clients often ask me - so how am I supposed to process my feelings? This amid many of my other answers include: what do you think? Short of giving you a mini session in this email, I’ll list some exercises that you may want to try to get closer to processing your feelings.

• When do you feel most resolved? After what activity do you take the deepest breath and feel the most clarity?

• What do you know deep down you still need to resolve? What is a healthy way forward? Could professional help be warranted?

• Do you give yourself the time and space to come back to difficult emotions? If not, when can you make time?

• How can you be more honest in your life? How can you express yourself more in the way you always wanted to?

Tool #2: Consider the gift of regulation.

In Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting, she discusses that the single most important act we can take in parenting our children is to become regulated. Why? Because we can’t implement almost any parenting strategy if we are ourseleves are falling apart. But this doesn’t just apply to offspring - we are all better humans when we stop to regulate ourselves.

When we try to become regulated, meaning that we are operating not in an activated state and are ready to make sound decisions (think beyond the reptilian brain), we often think we are only benefiting ourselves. Many times therapists prompt that we should implement self-care to achieve this, and we tout that this is not a selfish act, but an essential plan to keep ourseleves together. Take a nap and you’ll be a better human.

Don’t get me started on the litany of reasons I have the phrase “self-care.”

A better word, and concept, proposed by Tricia Hersey of Rest is Liberation is “community care.” Encompassing the idea that we heal together, and that our collective functioning is just as important as our individual journeys. We all need to take a nap.

This is an invitation to give yourself a reset if needed - not just for yourself - but for us all. Get out of the anxiety spiral, to-do list and social media black hole - it’s not just you that benefits. We all do. Below are some ideas of how you can find more regulation:

• Do one thing at a time. (radical I know, just try it)

• Take one full deep breath in between activities. Take your hands off your work / activity and shut your eyes.

• Consider how you might improve your ability to obtain sleep. Most people don’t get enough.

• Ask yourself what you need - and then act on it. Are you thirsty? Do you need to do something super quick and easy, but it’s been weighing on you the past six months?

• Utilize co-regulation. Choose to work alongside someone or choose to be with another person. Fellow humans are great at keeping us on track.

Tool #3: Give yourself a savasana {final resting pose}.

When practicing yoga, you are invited to take a final resting pose known as savasana at the end of your workout. This pose is most often practiced by laying still on the ground, on your back, with the lights dimmed. It’s a meditative pose meant to book end the session - sometimes lovingly referred to as people’s favorite pose because it doesn’t require much effort.

Obviously, if it wasn’t hard enough this anxious achiever wanted nothing to do with it.

So for years, I have tried to skip this pose. If I am home without an audience, I turn the TV off when prompted to this section, and if I were in a class - I’d try and sneak out the back door and leave all that resting to people who wanted it. Then, a few weeks ago, as my class came to a close, and my yoga teacher invited us down to savasana, she explained that it was essential to take a final resting pose to receive all the benefits of your practice leading up this pose. You needed to soak it all in.

While this was not peer-reviewed, I took it at face value and allowed myself to take a rest that would allow me to fully obtain the benefits of my practice.

And what a game changer it has been.

In my savasana, I realized that I too recommend a final resting pose. I tell my clients that it is not about the hour they spend with me - but the reflective actions they choose to take in the time they don’t see me. Without the opportunity to soak it in, there is no change to be made. We need time to understand and process the goals we have, to make the behavioral change we seek. It turns out there’s even research to support how savasana helps heart health.

In a society where we take such few breaks, we all need as many as we can get. Consider this your official invitation to take a savasana - this time without the guilt!

Namaste.

Blog Post Title Two

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.